Knitting or The Lack There Of

I've been in a bit of a slump with my knitting.  I think I may have casually mentioned on and off over the last several months that I've lost my "mojo".  I don't know what or why it is. It's not that I don't want to be knitting.  I most definitely do! I see patterns and yarn and think, "Oooooooh!  I should knit that!" but somehow that thought never seems to make it much past the thinking/dreaming stage into the cast on, knit and finish stage.

I did finish a Bankhead hat (a Christmas gift for my husband - modelled here by not so little anymore Little Man) - that one was a bit more exciting because I had picked out the fibre from Prairie's Edge Wool Farm and spun the yarn especially for the hat for him.  Maybe that's the key... all things should be knit from hand spun.  But here's the kicker...  I've not spun anything in months either! Even my spinning wheel has sat idle in the corner with a bobbin only half full.

The only things I've finished other than the hat since completing my Waters Tee last summer was the mittens that I made for Christmas for the big kids.

Some would argue that six pairs of mitts and a hat equals plenty of knitting over the span of eight months.  And I would probably agree, except that normally I am always knitting.  For the last twenty years I've knit a lot and the last fifteen years have been constant.  If I was sitting down for any reason (except obviously driving a vehicle) my needles would always be clickety clacking away.  Is it ridiculous to feel that knitting is like a part of my identity? Part of who I am? But this past while I've found myself knitting a row or two and setting it aside. Or not picking it up at all.  And it's a weird feeling of both not knowing why or what to do with it and a feeling of almost guilt that I'm not doing what I should be doing. (which is more than a bit crazy I do realize!) I do know that I was under a huge amount of stress earlier in the fall and I've been tired a lot lately as a residual result of that stress combined with a busy home life and a great, but busy job and that probably plays into it too. It feels silly that my blog name is "Prairie Girl Knits" and I've not given knitting much more than a casual mention here in approximately forever.

I have cast on a few things... I have two cardigans on my needles - a Populuxe that actually I forced myself to work on to the point that it only needs sleeves and a Mary Mead that got an upper back and upper right front done only before I put it aside.  I also have a Dubois hat that I cast on in great excitement the day the pattern was released and then left by the wayside when the cables started getting challenging to keep track of where I was. (And before it's suggested that maybe it's the patterns, I can assure you that it's not.  I adore the patterns, and really want to be wearing them, so I know it's not that...)

Should I even mention the three quarters of the way through Polarity shawl? Maybe not... that one I started back when in February 2017 when the knitting mojo was smiling upon me and it languished only because I kept getting distracted by new patterns I wanted to work on.

There is a glimmer of hope though that maybe, just maybe, my desire to knit is finally coming back - it's been a slow process, but I think that a slight whisper of it is there.

Inspired by a shawl my mama knit this winter for herself, from yarn I had spun for her, I decided maybe I'd like a big squooshy, cozy shawl of my own too.  I chose a different pattern, and commercial yarn for mine, but it's the first thing in a long time that has seen actual slow but steady progress and might stand a chance of getting finished!   The Golden Hour shawl by Drea Renee Knits might be just the thing to get my knitting groove back!

As for the Dubois hat, the Polarity shawl and the Mary Mead and Populuxe cardis?  Well... we'll have to see what happens.  I think I'm just going to try to focus on The Golden Hour for the time being and see where that leads me.  Maybe once I get back in the swing of things, and it becomes to feel more of a natural process again, I will be able to finish up those languishing projects.

I do know that this is supposed to be a hobby; my method of relaxation.  There should be no guilt or anxiety over how much I'm knitting or not, so I think I'm also going to focus on letting go of that. Goodness knows there's legitimate stress and anxiety aplenty in life that I don't need to add to it with misplaced guilt over something that should simply be done out of sense of joy.